Dating vs. Courting- What's the difference?

People always ask me what my plans are for dating. Each time I tell them: "I don't plan to date, I plan to court." They then proceed to tell me that there's basically no difference. So I went to the dictionary.

Dating: (verb) "going out with someone in whom one is romantically interested"

Courting: (verb) "being involved with romantically, typically with the intention of marrying"

There still doesn't appear to be much difference, except for the last few words of the definition.

Let's look at the definition for courting again:

Courting: "being involved with romantically, typically with the intention of marrying"

There's the big difference right there. Dating is actually VERY different than courting. If you think back to the stories that your parents tell you, they might tell you about all the different guys or girls that they "dated", but how often do they tell you about the multiple people that they "courted"? Dating is temporary, but courting usually ends up in marriage.

Isn't that the way that it was meant to be? Proverbs 4:23 says: "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

Do you really want to go second hand shopping? Or do you want God to GIVE you brand new?

I'm going to court, not date. Next time someone asks you, take some time to think. Could courting be right for me?

-Glen

The Qualities of a Good Friendship

A good friendship is essential to any relationship. Someday, you should marry your best friend. Let's look at some of the characteristics of a good friendship.

1. A friend is kind

No one wants to be friends with someone who isn't kind.

2. A friend is faithful

Do you stick with your friends, even when it's hard?

3. A friend makes you a better person

Do you make those around you better?

4. A friend is knit to your heart

Just like Jonathan and David, true friends know each other's hearts and feelings.

5. A friend can share friends

Jesus referred to Lazarus as "Our friend."

6. A friend expresses love

It isn't about saying "I love you", it's about living it.

7. A friend is willing to wound

Tough love is sometimes necessary to prevent them from getting hurt.

8. A friend strengthens others in God

Do you point others to God, or pull them away from Him?

9. A friend is willing to be second

Your relationship with God should always be first, and a friend should not prevent that.

10. A friend rejoices in blessings

Don't be jealous, be happy for them

11. A friend praises his friends

Don't seek to get glory for yourself. Praise your friends, and they will praise you.

12. A friend doesn't overstay his welcome

Too much of a good thing, no matter how good, is still too much.

13. A friend gives biblical counsel

You don't know everything. Use the best tool you have to help.

14. A friend is sensitive

Know what your friends are dealing with in their lives and act accordingly.

15. A friend sharpens

Influence those around you to stand up for what is right.

16. A friend helps through trials

Be there for your friends when they're going through a tough time.

Try to put these principles into practice in your friendships, they'll work wonders.

-Glen

(Points are from "Just Friends" by Cary Schmidt and Mike Ray)

Guest Post-The Big Picture

I've been both busy and lacking inspiration the past while, so I decided to ask someone to do a guest post. The following is written by Danica-Lee Szabatin, an MK to Alberta as well as a student at Hyles Anderson College in Hammond, Indiana.

THE BIG PICTURE

by Danica-Lee Szabatin

I am sure everyone has heard the saying, “Love blinds you.” Well, today I want to change that… I wouldn’t say love blinds you because love is not an ooey gooey feeling someone has for another person. Love is an action, and it was portrayed in the greatest way known to man when Christ died for us. I am so glad that my God did not sit up in Heaven and say, “Wow, I love those people on earth. I know they are bound for hell because of their sins, but I just get a warm, fuzzy feeling when I think about them, and they make me feel so happy, and I just love them.” Did God do that? I don’t think so. He took action, and loved us more than we can ever know by showing the highest form of love- -- sacrifice. Romans 5:8 says: “But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s love. So I am going to change the saying to “Lust blinds you.”

Lust is “pleasure, delight, inclination, or wish.” These are the feelings you get when you get in a relationship with someone. Honestly, you are not going to love that special person until you prove it. After you are married, and you start to realize, “Hey, this person isn’t perfect. Sometimes, we disagree on things. I do things that annoy them, and they do things that annoy me.” When you are still married, after 50 years, and have gone through many trials together and have never given up on each other, then tell me that you love that person. Christ died for us knowing how we were, “…while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

When you are in a relationship with someone, you get very close to that person. I saw an awesome illustration one time, and I think it shows exactly what I mean when I say, “Lust blinds us.”

A teacher called a teenager up to the platform and told her to close her eyes. While the teenager had her eyes closed the teacher put a very large painting right up close to her face, in front of her eyes.

“Ok, I want you to open your eyes and tell me what you see.” The teacher said.

“I see blue.”

“Okay close your eyes again.” The teacher this time moved back a few steps and told the teenager to open her eyes again and tell what she saw now.

The teenager described a beautiful landscape painting with blue skies, lush forest, gorgeous, colourful flowers, and a shining pond. All-in-all a beautiful picture.

When the teenager had been standing right up close to the picture all she could see was the colour blue. She had to take a step back and get a little distance to see the whole picture.

Right now, you might be in a very serious relationship, and you might be very close to someone. But could it be that you are too close, lust is blinding you, and you are not seeing the whole picture?

God has a beautiful picture planned out for your life, and He is just waiting for you to take a step back and trust Him with it. We trust Him with eternity, with our very souls, so why is it we can’t trust Him with our life and the things of it? Do you really think God is going to give you second best? No, He wants the very best for you. So why don’t you trust Him to give it to you? Why are you busy searching for someone, getting involved with the wrong people, when God has promised He will take care of you, and give you what He knows is best? Just take a step back, wait, trust God, and He will bring the right one to you.

Your friend, Danica-Lee

Some Fatherly Advice

I have a bad habit of reading ahead in my Glow in the Dark devotional booklet, but today I am glad that I did. This does not appear until August 5th, a day that I am at camp. The following letter was written by Bro. Morris Hunsucker, the assistant pastor of Faith Baptist Church of Avon, Indiana. He originally wrote it to his daughter, but also had it published in Glow in the Dark. I slightly changed it to make it applicable to both genders.

Dear Reader,

1. Be careful not to trust your heart alone. The Lord gave you a brain for a reason, so use it to reason.
Thinking through your “relationship” and honestly evaluating the positives and negatives in the light of God’s will for your future may not sound very romantic; but someday you will live “happily ever ever after” because you did.

2. Don’t expect any relationship with any human to be perfect. We are all flawed by a sin nature. We all make mistakes. The person that you are looking for is not going to be perfect. There was only one perfect person. The person that you are looking for will have their problems; but you will be able to love him/her in spite of them. And sometimes, you will ever love him/her because of them. I am not saying that you must expect or accept anything less than God’s best for your life. I am saying, unless you are perfect, don’t expect or require perfection in others. You want someone who is striving to do right and find God’s will for their life. Only a foolish hypocrite thinks that they are already perfect. Place a high value on a humble mate.

3. Never lower the Biblical standards that you’ve learned from God’s Word, but don’t be afraid to change those which you cannot support or lower those which no person could possibly reach. Be both right and reasonable. By the way, make sure that the person that you are looking for will not lower their standards to accept you. If they accept less than they think is God’s best for them, they will never be happy or satisfied with the relationship.

4. Always be more concerned with what you are putting into a relationship than what you are getting out of it. True love is an all-consuming, self-sacrificing, heart-felt desire to meet the needs of another. At least that’s the definition I get from John 3:16. Have a servant’s heart and find someone who has the same. A relationship where both people are striving to meet the needs of another will be blessed with great joy.

5. Trust your head more than your heart, your eyes more than your ears, and the facts more than your feelings. Choose service over selfishness, faithfulness over flattery, and personal holiness over personal happiness.

6. If you’ve considered this advice and still don’t know how to proceed, then PRAY and WAIT. That will not be easy, but it is the trying your faith that will make you strong. There will be many times on the field of service when all you can do is PRAY and WAIT. Ten when others panic and run, you will be able to stand. Your faith will have grown strong though the patient endurance of the trials that you have already faced. Simply put, you will be able to trust God then, if you learn to trust Him now.

God bless,
Morris Hunsucker


-Glen

Two Books That Changed My Life

I’m sure you’ve seen those testimonials on TV and on the internet that say: “This product changed my life!” In some cases, it’s true. In others, it’s not. Today I have a testimonial for you. I know that it’s true, because it’s mine. There are two books that changed my life, and I’m going to tell you what they are, and how they did. The first one is obvious- my King James Bible. If it wasn’t for my Bible, I wouldn’t be saved. The Bible tells us that the only way to heaven is though repentance of sin and belief in the sacrificial death of Christ. It also tells us that Christ rose again the third day and now intercedes for us on the right hand of God. My Bible tells me how to live each day, and helps me find God’s will. It cheers me up when I’m sad, and helps me through the rough patches in life. My Bible has changed, and continues to change my life.

The second book that changed my life was “Just Friends” by Cary Schmidt and Mike Ray. I’d always heard that “God works in mysterious ways”, but I hadn’t really seen it in action until a few months ago. It was September of 2009, and I had just had my heart broken by a girl that I thought was “the one”. (Note: I was 16, so she obviously wasn’t, but I didn’t clue into that) I was looking on the Striving Together Publications website at the book “Different by Design” by Cary Schmidt. I had read about it in my Glow in the Dark devotional book, and decided to check it out. At the bottom of the page was a link to “other books by this author” There was a book that caught my interest, so I clicked on it. It turned out to be “Just Friends”

I was considering ordering it online, but didn’t want to pay the expensive S&H from California. A few weeks later, we found out that there was a Youth Conference at Bible Baptist Church, about an hour and a half away. God worked out my work schedule so that I could go, and it turned out that the speaker, Bro. Whitman, was from Bro. Schmidt’s church in California. He brought along some copies of the book, and I bought one for cheaper than on the website, even without the S&H!

I read the book the moment I got home, and have read it 5 times since! It showed me that it’s not caring FOR girls that’s important, it’s caring ABOUT them. Since I read the book, my view of girls and dating completely changed! Now I’m content to wait for God’s perfect choice for my life in His timing.

But that’s not where it ends. Around Christmas, I was looking for a book review about “Just Friends.” I found one on a little blog called “God Will Bless Those Who Wait”, run by a girl named Katie. After reading all the older posts, I found one where she asked for guest writers. Having a burden to share my newfound views on dating with others, and loving to write, I asked her if I could write a post. My first post received excellent feedback, and pretty soon I was writing for it once a month. Then, Katie decided to take a break from running the blog, and asked if I would take it over. So here I am now.

So there you have it, two books that changed my life: my Bible, which showed me how to know that I am going to Heaven when I die; and “Just Friends,” the reason that I am writing this post today. God does work in mysterious ways!