Book Discussion - Before You Meet Prince Charming

As most of you know, I could go on and on about this book! I don't think I have ever read it without God teaching me something thru it. It is for young ladies, but I think most of the principles in it can be applied to young men as well. It is basically a book to encourage young ladies to wait on God for their spouse and not to go with the worlds way and date around. Most of y'all have probably read this, at least the young ladies might have. But since I would like this to be a discussion, I'm not going to say much about it because I'll never stop if I get started. ; )

So what are your thoughts on it? Is there some one thing that really stuck out to you or was there something you didn't like about it? Come on now, spill it! : )

Sorry

I am so sorry for my lack of posting lately! I didn't even post all that much on my other blog. But I am planning to get back to it very soon. I am hoping to have a post on here for y'all sometime this week. Maybe a book discussion... : )

Chaperon . . . Yes or No?

I'm planning on taking a break from the modesty posts for a while. I'm just not quite sure what I want to do next and I don't want to post until I have clear leading on it. But don't worry, we'll get back to it. : )

Now, back to our title . . . What is your opinion on chaperoning? Let me tell you what I believe and then you can do the same if you' like. : ) First off, a double date is NOT chaperoned. And when I say 'date' in this post, I do mean time you spend together while courting (whether its an evening out or in). I am not taking about 'dating' like the world uses it. But a lot of people will consider a double date as a chaperoned date. Well, it isn't. The dictionary defines 'Chaperon' as "An older person who for propriety accompanies young unmarried people." So you going out with another young courting couple really isn't a chaperoned date. But I believe it is fine for a young courting couple to go out with a married couple. It will give you a chance to ask them about marriage and their relationship, and will help you as a couple. Also, I don't believe its right for a younger sibling to chaperon. An older sibling may be fine for somethings, but when it comes to wanting to go out for a more formal type date, I think going with a married couple would be best. Now, I'm not saying it has to be your parents. In all honesty, I think it would be hard to relax if it was always with my parents, but I can think of several married couples in our church that I would love to have chaperon for my future husband and I some day.

Okay, so I went on for a but there, but it is in no way the longest post I've done. lol : ) So what are your thoughts on Chaperoning? Yes or No?

My Guidelines For Modesty

I believe that a woman should dress modesty and feminine. Now the Bible gives great help in talking about modesty and femininity. And the book 'Dressing for the Lord' by Bro. David Cloud is great for explaining and understanding what the Bible says. I still plan to do a post using that book, but a friend still has it. So I thought I'd go ahead and do this post. Some of y'all asked what my personal guidelines for modesty are, and I'd love to tell you. I'm going to try and explain why as well, but if I don't explain it well then just let me know. : ) First, I'm going to basically be telling what I believe is modest for a lady, or what I wear. Then I'll try to explain what I believe is right for a guy.

I do not believe that there is such a thing as a modest pair of pants or shorts, so I don't wear them. To say I only wear skirts and dresses leaves a bit too much room because there are more immodest skirts made then there are modest ones. I believe a skirt/dress should be loose, long, and flowing. Long being at least below the knee, but I wear mine almost to my ankle if not touching it. A long and flowing skirt covers, and in a sense hides, what is not meant to be seen by anyone but your spouse. And pants don't, they may not show skin but they show the outline of your body. As far as shirts, I believe they should also not be tight, see thru, or low cut. Once again, a loose and modest shirt will be covering/hiding what is not meant to been seen. As far as pajamas, well I have a hard time with this. I know many people wear pajama pants or shorts, and in the privacy of your own bedroom that's fine. But I don't believe its right for me to wear pants or shorts unless they are under a skirt that is just as long as I would normally wear or if the nightgown is as long as a skirt. I wear pants under my skirts most all the time in the winter, and in the summer I will sometimes wear shorts under my skirt if I feel it's needed for something I'm doing. Now for my really weird spot... :) Culottes. Of all the styles and kinds of culottes I have seen or owned over the years, I can only think of two that were truly modest. I own one pair now that really does look like a skirt and even when walking you can't tell that it isn't. And I don't mind wearing them. But most of the time culottes just look like a baggy pair or shorts, and shorts are not modest for a lady. I could probably keep going on naming things I do and don't wear, but when it comes down to it, I really just have to look in the mirror and ask God if it is modest or not. Do I look like a Christian young lady or am I trying to show off my body? Am I going to have a good testimony for the guys around me or are my clothes going to distract them? Am I pleasing God or Satan?

Now for the guys. The way our world is today, it isn't just the girls who are trying to show off their bodies, the guys are doing it too. Well, I guess what I believe about the ladies pretty much fits for guys too. Modest pants for a guy should not be tight, and shorts should be below the knee. Shirts should not be tight or see thru. And this thing about guys taking their shirts off in the heat or something...that is not modest. If it is immodest for a girl to have her shirt off then it's immodest for a guy too.

It's not just about what items of clothing you wear, but the style too. BUT, I'll get into that in the next post on modesty because if I start now I'll never finish this thing! lol I know I have some rather different views on this but it's what God has convicted my heart about. Don't base your convictions off of mine or even your parents (tho you do need to obey theirs while in their house). You have to go before God and ask him to show you what is right for you. For years I lived by my dad's standards for modesty and doing just what he asked of me. When I finally asked God to show me what he wanted for me, it all changed. I have a much better understanding of modesty and these are no longer my dad's standards, they are mine.

Modesty & Dress

I thought I'd go ahead and post a few things about modesty and dress standards. I am planning a few more posts on the subject, including what I believe the bible says and my personal standards on dress. So y'all can either look forward to or dread those posts. (lol jk ;)

This is basically a list of ten things to consider as you think about your clothing and how you dress. Not just when your thinking about your relationships but also just in your every day life. When you stand in front of your mirror in the morning, think about whether your clothes fit into these things.

1. Please the Lord Jesus Christ and honor Him above all. So many of our dress standards are to please us or please others. Why not please God? 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

2. Submit to the biblical principle of modesty. I think this is more of a problem for ladies then it is for guys. Guys are very 'sight oriented' so there are a lot of things that are rather immodest and provocative that you as a lady may not realize. We'll get into this more in one of my next posts. But remember 1Timothy 2:9..."In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel..."

3. Submit to the biblical principle of appropriateness and to identify with godliness. Philippians 4:5 says "Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand." The word moderation means appropriateness. Make sure your clothes are not only modest but also appropriate for what your doing. Like nice dressy clothes for church and your more causal clothes for work. You should have a higher respect for the things of God then you do for work or school, so dress nicer.

4. Promote an environment of purity and spiritual growth. Sadly, our generation is more sexually educated, active, and tempted then EVER before in American history. We should be committed to keeping and pure and godly atmosphere with our friends -- and that means dressing modesty and appropriately. The fact is, how we dress contributes to our environments with friends, at school, and at church.

5. Honor the convictions of your parents. Don't push things to the borderline of "How short/tight/low-cut can I get and still make it past mom and dad?" You should be willing to obey your parents standards as long as you are in there house. I used to just wear modest clothes because its what my dad asked of me...now I have tighter standards for myself as far as dress goes. I'll get into that in another post tho.

6. Give account to the Lord with joy. This is a hard one! 2 Corinthians 5:10 says "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad." Do you want to give account for good or bad choices in clothing?

7. Promote a spirit of maturity. Maturity isn't age, it is the acceptance of responsibility. The sooner you over come those fashion-conscious insecurities, the more mature and responsible you'll be. 1 Corinthians 13:11 says "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." Also God commands us to be an example in 1 Timothy 4:12 "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

8. Exemplify a distinct lifestyle not conformed to the world. Romans 12:2 says "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." God does not want us to fit in or blend in with the world. We are to look different, act different, and BE different. Don't let your clothes say that you're are trying to 'fit in' with the world.

9. Protect the thoughts of those around you. When you dress modestly you are saying that you value yourself as God does. You are broadcasting you commitment to purity. You are saying to others "Think purely about me!" You will be protecting their hearts and minds and displaying responsibility and respect.

10. Be a clear witness of the gospel. If you are dressing different from the world, you are shining brightly! God told us that men look on the outward, so let the outward look different! I can't tell you how many times as a little kid I saw my dad witness to someone because the first notice how his wife and daughter were dressed. Dressing modestly can be an amazing testimony for you!

If you dress in a way that honors the Lord, your relationships will benefit from that as well!

**Some material taken from 'Just Friends' by Mike Ray and Cary Schmidt**