Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Chaperon . . . Yes or No?

I'm planning on taking a break from the modesty posts for a while. I'm just not quite sure what I want to do next and I don't want to post until I have clear leading on it. But don't worry, we'll get back to it. : )

Now, back to our title . . . What is your opinion on chaperoning? Let me tell you what I believe and then you can do the same if you' like. : ) First off, a double date is NOT chaperoned. And when I say 'date' in this post, I do mean time you spend together while courting (whether its an evening out or in). I am not taking about 'dating' like the world uses it. But a lot of people will consider a double date as a chaperoned date. Well, it isn't. The dictionary defines 'Chaperon' as "An older person who for propriety accompanies young unmarried people." So you going out with another young courting couple really isn't a chaperoned date. But I believe it is fine for a young courting couple to go out with a married couple. It will give you a chance to ask them about marriage and their relationship, and will help you as a couple. Also, I don't believe its right for a younger sibling to chaperon. An older sibling may be fine for somethings, but when it comes to wanting to go out for a more formal type date, I think going with a married couple would be best. Now, I'm not saying it has to be your parents. In all honesty, I think it would be hard to relax if it was always with my parents, but I can think of several married couples in our church that I would love to have chaperon for my future husband and I some day.

Okay, so I went on for a but there, but it is in no way the longest post I've done. lol : ) So what are your thoughts on Chaperoning? Yes or No?


HIS daughter said...

This was a really well thought out post! I really appreciated it. I really haven't given much thought to chaperones just because I have never been in a relationship so these were good thoughts to have...definately pondering :)

Katarina said...

Yes, if you want to follow the bible where it says to "Abstain from all appearance of evil" (1 Thessalonians 5:22) then yes you will have a chaperon.

I also have never been in a relationship so with that thought in mind I have never had to think about who I would want to be my chaperon. I always thought that would solve it's self when the time came.

But I do agree with you it would have to be an older person, a person whom you both trust to tell you if they think you are doing something that might harm either person's reputation or testimony. As well as someone who can guide you through this time of life can be very difficult at times and very altering.

Yes, I also agree that a 'double date' with another courting couple or younger siblings do not count, as either one have not been through that yet and can't help lead you as God would have you to go.

Though, I will tell you coming from the point of an oldest child...Having a younger sibling around will tend to keep you on the straight and narrow as they tend to be able take any little thing and twist in a way that might look bad. So, with them around (even with an older couple around as well) I know right now that I will be more careful in the things I say and do, so that they won' tbe able get the wrong idea and pass it around. If you get my drift. :D

BTW--Great post!!

Joshua said...

Great idea!

In Christ,
Joshua :)

Angela said...

When I hear ppl call double dating chaperoned, I think Mt 15:14 "And if the blind lead the blind...." Young ppl 'paired off', paying attention to their own dates...not chaperoning each other.
I believe a chaperon needs to be older & experienced. Many today bring someone as a witness, not a genuine chaperon. They are to monitor you, meaning they intervene when necessary. You may not realize where a conversation is leading, but a chaperon should be able to see & steer it away before it gets to your flesh--or worse your heart. A married person knows where the courtship should go & will foster that thru experience... (pick a married person w/ a marriage like you desire!!!) The chaperon’s # 1 job is to guard your courtship from BEING inappropriate, not just seeming that way to others. GOD knows “what is” vs “what seems” & your marriage someday depends on “what is”.
The best chaperon is always a parent (they have the most invested love in you) but a couple does need time with different ppl too (PR 24:6 "in multitude of counsellors there is safety.")
A key to a good chaperon is NOT picking it yourself. When ppl are courting, emotions cloud decisions (hence the chaperon need!). Friend's are often clouded by their enjoyment of your happiness & they won't stop something that is giving you joy. Thinking, "They love me & wouldn't want me to do wrong," leads to finding out too late they don't share all your standards. I believe a chaperon should be selected by the father-- the chaperon is trying to fill his shoes!
When picking a chaperon, just remember: older does not make wiser, only a good relationship w/ GOD can do that. Proverbs 2:6 "For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding."
Love you so much & your desire for HIM!
~Angela (so now I can't chaperon, huh? lol)

~Rebecca~ said...

The college Justin attends states that all dating/courting couples must have a third person (responsible 18 yrs and up) with them at all times. Known respectively as "the third".
When Justin visited my house over the summer we would take all my little siblings outside to let them play. The joke was we not only had a "third" but also a "fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh..." :)
We have rarely ever gone on a formal date... the few times were with his parents and his sister.

I think a chaperon is very important.


Maiden Princess said...

Dear Katie,

I just found your blog (via: Ryan Wegner's blog)and when I saw your blog title I immediately felt interested. I was not dissapointed in your articles and it seems we agree on most issues. I am commited to courtship and I too, am waiting on the LORD to bring me the ONE man who was made for me! I also am trying to dive deeper into the love story my Heavenly Prince (Jesus, Yeshua) and let Him satisfy my deepest desires :D

Pressing On In Him,
Maiden Princess

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