Sunday, March 21, 2010

Does The Term Really Matter?

I was reading through "Boy Meets Girl" (by Joshua Harris) again today and God brought something to my mind.
Actually, God showed me something I've been doing wrong.
And kept thinking "No, I didn't do that! I just know I didn't do that!"

So I signed on blogger,
looked at some of my old posts on here...

And guess what?
I have been doing something wrong.
Boy, thats not a fun thing to admit.
Wanna know what it is?

Of course you do...


Well, God showed me that when I talk about relationships, whether I'm posting on here or talking to a friend, I come off really hard and make it sound like Courtship (what I call courtship at least) is the only way thats right or that works.

But God brought it to mind that the term or what you call the relationship doesn't matter. What matters is whether God is the center of that relationship and if it is honoring to Him or not.

I know some people who call their relationship "Courtship" and it is not a God honoring relationship at all. And on the other hand, I know some people who call their relationship "Dating" and it is very God honoring and you can clearly see God through it.

So does the term really matter?


I do still like the term courtship better then dating...but thats just what I like.
It sounds more old-fashion and romantic...but again thats just me. :)

Call your relationship (or future relationship) whatever you want...
Just keep God at the center of it.

Anyways, I guess I kind of just wanted to clear this up and apologize for the way I've sounded in some of my posts.


Amber said...

You're right. All that will really count in the end is whether or not that relationship was God honoring. Thank you...I really needed to hear this!

bug said...

Yes! You're right! I personally prefer the term "dating" when I talk to other people, simply because in today's terminology that is what's best understood. Often now-a-days the term "courtship" is linked to an arranged marriage. I am in theory "courting" a young man,but usually when I talk about it, I talk about "dating" him, because none of it was arranged by anyone except God. Either way, we are doing our best to obey our parents and honor God in our relationship, as you said, that is what counts the most!! Thanks for this post!

covnitkepr1 said...

One can "get by" without God in many things, but to include God makes anything successful.

We see a world around us getting by and being what they call successful, but their just "getting by." But...the one thing we can't get by God is the Judgement. We'll all face Him sooner or later.

I like this blog. I'm now a follower.

Esther said...

I'm reading that book right now also. I agree fully with what you are saying.


Glen said...

I personally use the term "courtship".

I use it for the reason that I will only "court" one person, and that will be with the full intention of eventual marriage. "Dating" is the term that most other people use, and I want my future relationship to stand out and be different.

I look at it this way:

Dating- temporary
Courting- permanent

Anonymous said...

You know, this is so true. My brother recently entered into a relationship that isn't really either dating or courting, there's an ocean between him and his girlfriend. Somebody at work asked me in relation to that, "So, do you guys 'date' or 'court'?" This is what I told him (names removed since this is the internet...):

"Neither? Both? This is the first relationship M. has been in, and they are definitely planning to continue towards marriage, this isn't casual at all. I don't know that you can call it either when they haven't seen each other in years, only talked on the phone once, and probably won't see each other until next summer. M. may go back for my cousin's wedding in ... to see D., but she probably won't come here to visit until next summer.

As for myself, I really don't know. I'm certainly not going to do casual dating, if/when I enter into a relationship it's definitely going to be intending to move towards marriage. Both of the universities I'm considering have pretty strict rules about dating, including always being chaperoned, one of them allows only single hand-holding, the other doesn't allow holding hands at all, and I consider those to be pretty good rules. If I do get into a relationship, how it is pursued is really going to mostly be up to my dad and boyfriend, since I won't be directing a marriage, I don't want to be directing a dating/courting relationship."

I do have certain boundaries that I won't cross, no being off on our own, no physical contact (except maybe when he gives me an engagement ring, I'll be willing for him to put it on), but other than that, I really don't care what it is called or how it is pursued as long as it is honoring to God.


Tessa Silvas said...


Good post! This is something I've been thinking about lately too!


Some Peaceful Music...

Create a playlist at