People often ask me "Well, why can't you even hold a guys hand?" Well, to tell you the truth, I can do whatever I want...but just because I can do something doesn't mean its right or that I even want to. When asked this, I always gave 1 Corin. 7:1. And I still stand by that. BUT...I never really knew how to explain it and not be too blunt. Well, I read a book a few months ago called "Just Friends" by Mike Ray and Cary Schmidt. The book is more for the younger teenager, meaning that it encourages you to not worry about a dating type of relationship yet and to just be friends. Where as, when you reach a level of maturity (and I'm not saying age, because I know some 12 year olds that are much more mature then some 20 year olds!) that you feel God does indeed want you to marry, well there are somethings to consider and pray about that a 13 year old really doesn't need to focus on yet. But even at that age, you should still focus on a friendship first. Your spouse should be your very best friend, so why not work on the friend part before your married? I would encourage any young teenager to read that book, and even the older ones too.
Now back to my topic, I loved the two chapters on "no touch" in the book!! Okay, so lets start with this...you may have already decided that your first kiss will be on your wedding day, if so great! But you don't think there is anything wrong with holding hands or hugging...let me just say, if you give an inch, it will go a mile! I'm not saying that physical affection is a bad thing, its a very good thing. BUT, its something God intended for marriage, and marriage only. And for that reason, I don't believe any touching should be done until the wedding day, not even during engagement. See, a physical relationship is a special and important thing, but that is not the marriage. Yes, its a important part, but being physical never held a marriage together. Being physical is an expression of what holds a marriage together. This is how they explain it in the book: "In marriage, commitment and character are like the steel girders of a skyscraper --what the walls and finishings hold to. The physical act of marriage is supposed to be supported by the steel structure of commitment and integrity." So if God is still building your foundation, you'll be ruining it by being physical before marriage. And by showing you have the self control and are faithful to your future spouse enough to wait, you are proving to your spouse that you will also be faithful in the marriage. If you can't control your desires and save yourself for one person, how are you going to be faithful to one person once your married?
Okay, I know I've went on for a while (and I could probably keep going...lol) but I just want to share this last thought with your before I go.
Guys: If you touch a girl, you think she's experiencing the same surface pleasure you are, but thats not so. She's investing her heart in you, and since your not married, you don't own her heart, or her body. Keeping your hands off a girl show great respect for her heart, her Daddy, her God, and her future husband (even if its you!).
Girls: Unless a guy is committing himself to you at a wedding alter, he doesn't own your heart. Therefore, physical touch is not love, its just physical pleasure. He may tell you his heart is invested too, but know this: a guy who will take advantage of your body before marriage does not really love you.
Saving your body and guarding your heart now, will make you a much better spouse later!