Meeting The Right Guy/Girl...

I was reading over some of the resources I have on relationships and came across the articles on Momof9splace.com. I have them on the side bar, so y'all can take a look at those if you want. But this is part of the 4th paper. We always talk about trusting God and going with the idea of courting rather then dating...but I think we all wonder how that will happen. I have done a post on the process of courting before, but have you ever wondered what we can to meet a guy or girl? Yes we do need to trust God, but I believe God wants us to do our part too. This is just a few things to help us out a bit. : )

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1. Pray and submit yourself to God. Over 80% of all young women want to be married and have a family. You are probably part of the 80%. God wants most young men and women to be married and have a family. Therefore, pray about it. Submit yourself to God and His Word, seek His counsel and pray for Him to lead you to that special one. Then rest in His wisdom and mercy by faith.

2. Widen your circle of opportunities. Be faithful to the services of your home church, but go to as many camp meetings, youth camps, mission trips, and Gospel meetings as you can, not only for their spiritual benefit, but to meet other Christian young people. We have had a number of young couples meet at such places in the last few years. Moreover, God can bring young people of similar interests and backgrounds together at such places. We have had one couple meet on a mission trip to Mexico, several at camp meetings and one at a young adult fellowship.

3. Accept introductions. If some sincere brother or sister in the Lord says to you, "There is someone I would like you to meet," unless it is something other than awkwardness, shyness or embarrassment, accept the invitation. We have had numbers of young couples meet that way. It works! Seek introductions. If there is someone you want to meet, seek an introduction through a third party. It is discreet, polite and effective.

4. Secure the blessings of the parents. Your parents have first and final approval on all the people you are likely to be romantically involved with. Talk it over with them before you get involved. Seek their counsel, approval and blessing. The young man should introduce the young lady to his parents. If further progress is made, the parents should meet and get acquainted.

5. Seek your pastor's advice. Before you get too serious, seek your pastor's advice. Pastors often know things even parents do not know. Moreover, most couples seek premarital counseling after the wedding arrangements are already made. It is often too late. I speak from sad experience.

Isaac and Rebekah's Courtship

I LOVE to read this chapter! One of the greatest stories of courtship in the Bible! So I thought I'd post it for y'all to read. : ) I know its a bit long, but I think it's important to know how God wants a courtship to be. You will notice that Isaac's father had more to do with the courtship that just advising, he was a huge part of it! And I also love how Rebekah covered her face when she saw Isaac...even then she knew it was important to be modest before her future husband. I also like where it says she 'lighted off' the camel...I guess she was a bit excited huh? ; ) Well, I hope y'all enjoy reading this, and please leave a comment with any thoughts you might have. : )

^{Genesis 24}

¹And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. ²And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh. ³And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: ⁴But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac. ⁵And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest? ⁶And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again. ⁷The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence. ⁸And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again. ⁹And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter. ¹⁰And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor. ¹¹And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water. ¹²And he said O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham. ¹³Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water: ¹⁴And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master. ¹⁵And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder. ¹⁶And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up. ¹⁷And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher. ¹⁸And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink. ¹⁹And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking. ²⁰And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels. ²¹And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not. ²²And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold; ²³And said, Whose daughter art thou? tell me, I pray thee: is there room in thy father's house for us to lodge in? ²⁴And she said unto him, I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor. ²⁵She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in. ²⁶And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the LORD. ²⁷And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I being in the way, the LORD led me to the house of my master's brethren. ²⁸And the damsel ran, and told them of her mother's house these things. ²⁹And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well. ³⁰And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister's hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he stood by the camels at the well. ³¹And he said, Come in, thou blessed of the LORD; wherefore standest thou without? for I have prepared the house, and room for the camels. ³²And the man came into the house: and he ungirded his camels, and gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet, and the men's feet that were with him. ³³And there was set meat before him to eat: but he said, I will not eat, until I have told mine errand. And he said, Speak on. ³⁴And he said, I am Abraham's servant. ³⁵And the LORD hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses. ³⁶And Sarah my master's wife bare a son to my master when she was old: and unto him hath he given all that he hath. ³⁷And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell: ³⁸But thou shalt go unto my father's house, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son. ³⁹And I said unto my master, Peradventure the woman will not follow me. ⁴⁰And he said unto me, The LORD, before whom I walk, will send his angel with thee, and prosper thy way; and thou shalt take a wife for my son of my kindred, and of my father's house: ⁴¹Then shalt thou be clear from this my oath, when thou comest to my kindred; and if they give not thee one, thou shalt be clear from my oath. ⁴²And I came this day unto the well, and said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, if now thou do prosper my way which I go: ⁴³Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw water, and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink; ⁴⁴And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: let the same be the woman whom the LORD hath appointed out for my master's son. ⁴⁵And before I had done speaking in mine heart, behold, Rebekah came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down unto the well, and drew water: and I said unto her, Let me drink, I pray thee. ⁴⁶And she made haste, and let down her pitcher from her shoulder, and said, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: so I drank, and she made the camels drink also. ⁴⁷And I asked her, and said, Whose daughter art thou? And she said, the daughter of Bethuel, Nahor's son, whom Milcah bare unto him: and I put the earring upon her face, and the bracelets upon her hands. ⁴⁸And I bowed down my head, and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the LORD God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way to take my master's brother's daughter unto his son. ⁴⁹And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left. ⁵⁰Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good. ⁵¹Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken. ⁵²And it came to pass, that, when Abraham's servant heard their words, he worshipped the LORD, bowing himself to the earth. ⁵³And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things. ⁵⁴And they did eat and drink, he and the men that were with him, and tarried all night; and they rose up in the morning, and he said, Send me away unto my master. ⁵⁵And her brother and her mother said, Let the damsel abide with us a few days, at the least ten; after that she shall go. ⁵⁶And he said unto them, Hinder me not, seeing the LORD hath prospered my way; send me away that I may go to my master. ⁵⁷And they said, We will call the damsel, and enquire at her mouth. ⁵⁸And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. ⁵⁹And they sent away Rebekah their sister, and her nurse, and Abraham's servant, and his men. ⁶⁰And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them. ⁶¹And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way. ⁶²And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country. ⁶³And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. ⁶⁴And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. ⁶⁵For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. ⁶⁶And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. ⁶⁷And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.

A Lot On My Heart...

Well, I guess I don't really have a topic for this post. But I do have a LOT on my heart and I just thought I'd go ahead and share it with y'all. Hopefully y'all can make sense of it. I normally would put a post like this on my other blog, but it fits more with what we've been talking about on here. Sharon did give me a great idea to do some posts on modesty and such. I plan to do that soon, but I'm waiting for a book before I start. I think modesty does indeed have a HUGE impact on guy/girl relationships...but we'll get into that another time. : )

You know, as much as I wholeheartedly believe that the right way to go about a relationship is to fully wait on God, I still have times when I get rather discouraged and find the waiting even harder then normal. I see the teenagers around me pairing off and here's Katie...still waiting. I'm sure most of it is just a lack of faith, but that doesn't make it any easier. I have heard a lot of stories about how people of struggled with this and as soon as they've given the whole thing to God, they started to see God work in that area. Part of me says I already gave all that up, but another part of me knows that if I have really given it all to God then I shouldn't be struggling so much. I know I've still got some things to work on, but I pray that God helps me do that very soon. : )

I got a book for my birthday from a very dear little friend called 'The Princess and the kiss'. It's a children's book, but it has a very powerful truth in it. It's a fairy tale about a princess and how she saves her first kiss for the right person and right time. It was very cute, but also really encouraging. God has used a lot of little things like that to encourage me lately. Also, I'm thinking about starting a journal of letters for my future husband. I love to write, and I think maybe it might help me to write my thought about this time of waiting down for my future spouse to one day read. I'm not sure yet. Have any of you ever written letters to your future spouse? I'd like to hear your thoughts on it if you have. : )

I hope you don't mind my rambling for a minute...I'll be sure to get back to some 'normal' posts soon. : )

Not Quite Sure Yet...

Sorry it's been so long since I've really posted much...I'm just not sure what to talk about next. I have had a few thoughts, but just haven't had peace about them. I'm kind of just wanting for God to give me inspiration on whats next...or peace on one of the ideas I've already had. So if y'all have any thoughts or ideas of what you'd like to read about next, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE feel free to leave a comment. This is y'all's blog too...so you tell me what you'd like to read and learn about and I'll certainly pray about it.

DVD Review - "To Be One"

This movie was incredibly encouraging to me. I love how even tho it was three different stories, they were still very God honoring. It just goes to show that not every story of courtship is going to be the same but that doesn't mean that there is only one right way to do it.

I have to say that I thought the first wedding was rather cute and romantic. I loved how the groom had a cape and sword and the bride had a princess-like wedding gown. It was a very cool wedding! I'd have to say that it got me rethinking my 'dream wedding'. : )

The second story was very encouraging! it was so cool how the couple knew that God wanted them to marry and they both committed to marry before they even fell in love. Such an amazing example of fully trusting God in your courtship and marriage.

The third story was great too. It was a bit more modern and more 'down to earth' then the other two. But I think that is probably a help to those who are still a bit unsure of what courtship is and how it should be done.

All in all, I'd say it's a great movie for everyone to watch! You can find it on the website here - www.tobeonevideo.com

Becoming the Right Person VS. Trying to Find the Right Person

I think we often think more about finding the right person then we do about becoming the right person. Finding the 'perfect' spouse is not going to make you the 'perfect' spouse too. We need to work on becoming the right person before we spend too much time thinking about finding the right person. Ephesians 5 is a great chapter to read for some help with this. It is a great chapter about marriage but before the Holy Spirit ever talks about how to be a good husband or wife, He says "Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love..." (Eph.5:1-2) The chapter talks about being the right person--walking in light, understanding God's will, redeeming our time, being filled with the Holy Spirit. So before He talks about being a good spouse, He says to follow God as dear children and walk in love. He's telling us to look to Him as a young child looks to their father. Do you remember when you were young and you just thought that Daddy was the coolest? Well, he wants us to think of God like that. Meaning, God holds all of your hopes and dreams--He is your everything! God should be the center of your life, not a boyfriend or girlfriend. So many times when people 'Christian date', they end up replacing God with their current boyfriend or girlfriend. And that's not right! Your spouse should not replace God at all, you should be able to love Him and live for him right along side them. So lets stop looking for the right person and focus more on becoming the right person.

Why is this so important? Well, lets compare the two a bit. : ) The worlds model: trying to find the right person. God's model: becoming the right person.

• Becoming the right person places your hope in God. ~ Trying to find the right person places your hope in another person.
• Becoming the right person focuses on God's work in you. ~ Trying to find the right person prevents God's work in you.
• Becoming the right person make your patient. ~ Trying to find the right person makes you impatient.
• Becoming the right person makes you strong. ~ Trying to find the right person makes you weak.
• Becoming the right person makes you spiritual. ~ Trying to find the right person make you self-centered and carnal.
• Becoming the right person settles your emotions. ~ Trying to find the right person confuses your emotions.
• Becoming the right person make you want to stay pure. ~ Trying to find the right person tempts you to lose your purity.
• Becoming the right person seeks love and acceptance from God. ~ Trying to find the right person seeks love and acceptance from people.
• Becoming the right person will lead you to the right person. ~ Trying to find the right person will lead you astray.

Even the bible has an example of both models...look up the story of Isaac & Rebekah and Samson & Delilah. Which one would you rather have? It's kind of a no-brainer. God's way is always best. It's that simple. : )

**Some material taken from 'Just Friends' by Mike Ray and Cary Schmidt**