Becoming the Right Person VS. Trying to Find the Right Person

I think we often think more about finding the right person then we do about becoming the right person. Finding the 'perfect' spouse is not going to make you the 'perfect' spouse too. We need to work on becoming the right person before we spend too much time thinking about finding the right person. Ephesians 5 is a great chapter to read for some help with this. It is a great chapter about marriage but before the Holy Spirit ever talks about how to be a good husband or wife, He says "Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love..." (Eph.5:1-2) The chapter talks about being the right person--walking in light, understanding God's will, redeeming our time, being filled with the Holy Spirit. So before He talks about being a good spouse, He says to follow God as dear children and walk in love. He's telling us to look to Him as a young child looks to their father. Do you remember when you were young and you just thought that Daddy was the coolest? Well, he wants us to think of God like that. Meaning, God holds all of your hopes and dreams--He is your everything! God should be the center of your life, not a boyfriend or girlfriend. So many times when people 'Christian date', they end up replacing God with their current boyfriend or girlfriend. And that's not right! Your spouse should not replace God at all, you should be able to love Him and live for him right along side them. So lets stop looking for the right person and focus more on becoming the right person.

Why is this so important? Well, lets compare the two a bit. : ) The worlds model: trying to find the right person. God's model: becoming the right person.

• Becoming the right person places your hope in God. ~ Trying to find the right person places your hope in another person.
• Becoming the right person focuses on God's work in you. ~ Trying to find the right person prevents God's work in you.
• Becoming the right person make your patient. ~ Trying to find the right person makes you impatient.
• Becoming the right person makes you strong. ~ Trying to find the right person makes you weak.
• Becoming the right person makes you spiritual. ~ Trying to find the right person make you self-centered and carnal.
• Becoming the right person settles your emotions. ~ Trying to find the right person confuses your emotions.
• Becoming the right person make you want to stay pure. ~ Trying to find the right person tempts you to lose your purity.
• Becoming the right person seeks love and acceptance from God. ~ Trying to find the right person seeks love and acceptance from people.
• Becoming the right person will lead you to the right person. ~ Trying to find the right person will lead you astray.

Even the bible has an example of both models...look up the story of Isaac & Rebekah and Samson & Delilah. Which one would you rather have? It's kind of a no-brainer. God's way is always best. It's that simple. : )

**Some material taken from 'Just Friends' by Mike Ray and Cary Schmidt**